|©Lucy Cavendish & Selina Fenech|
Last night was the full moon in Capricorn, and as with any full moon, a good time to connect with the Goddess. In particular, with the moon at her brightest, it's a good time for gaining emotional insight, and for drawing on the power of the moon to fuel our will.
After casting my circle and calling on the Goddess, I drew a card to meditate on, with the question: what do I need to be grow in the month to come? The answer I received, from the Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle (Blue Angel, 2009) was a card I've meditated on before - The Gift.
This time, though, the message I received from it was very different. I felt almost anger at the pretty faery, so sure of her charms, her desirability, her right to be offered gifts. Which of course begs the question: do I not feel worthy of receiving?
I also thought about the little gnome, a small and not very attractive package. Could she truly love him, this pretty faery? Suddenly, I saw her rejecting him, destroying him, and saw a parallel to the tale of the Princess and the Frog. In the original version of this tale, the Princess doesn't happily kiss the frog. Instead, when he has pushed her just that bit too far with his demands to be taken into her life, her home, her bed, she grabs him up and hurls him against the wall!
Now, never fear, this is actually exactly what the ensorcelled Prince needed to be able to break free of his frog curse. And reading Kenny Klein's excellent book, Fairy Tale Rituals (Llewellyn, 2011), he talks about this in terms of God figures needing to be reborn through the Goddess, a painful and often messy process. I straight away thought of Tower-like shocks, beautifully depicted in the Tarot of the Sidhe (Schiffer, 2011) - we need to break free of our old way of being for a new self to emerge, beautiful and strong.
Still, for me in this esbat meditation, it was not the gnome's or prince's perspective I took, but that of the faery/princess. She may or may not know that this creature needs her help to break his curse and be reborn as a handsome prince. What she knows is that she is not willing to be pushed around anymore. She is marking a line in the sand: this far and no further. She is honouring her own boundaries, and being willing to say no.
Two phrases or affirmations emerged for me from this meditation, to be given the power to grow in this coming month: "I allow myself to receive the gifts of the universe" and "I honour my right to be clear about what I want and need".