Monday, 30 July 2012

Fertility?

I will admit, I was a little nervous of this week exploring the Empress.  As the epitome of motherhood, fertility and creativity, I wondered what would come up for me in my meditations with her, given my DH and I have our first appointment at a fertility clinic next week.  The meditations I did with her, though, went fairly smoothly.  So, as I did with the Magician, I decided to shuffle the Empress back into the deck and then look for her, asking what I need to know about fertility and creativity in my life right now.

I shuffled and shuffled, focusing my intent, and then started looking through the deck to find the Empress.   As I got closer and closer to the bottom of the pack I thought: "What if she's the very bottom card?  Then I'll only have one other card to read with her.  And what does it say: that she's the furthest thing from my awareness, what I can see least clearly?"

©Emily Carding
Imagine my delight *super-sarcastic-face* when not only was the Empress the bottom card, but the card next to her was Death!

That bit about being unable to see the Empress clearly certainly chimes true: I'm a little too close to this to read it with any kind of confidence.  I came up with three different readings:


1)  "I need to mourn and let go of past pains before I will be ready to have another child."  Probably true. Doesn't mean I'll be able to have a child once I'm ready, I just mean ready on an emotional level.

2)  "I need to let go of the hope that I can have another child, that part of me is dead.  Instead, I should focus on different avenues of creativity."  Not an idea that delights me, but one which time will tell the merit of.

3)  "I need to let go of one of the projects I'm working on at the moment before I will once again feel creative."  Also possible.  I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed of late, not exactly conducive to imaginative work.

I guess I should act as though 1 and 3 are true, as they both hold suggestions of what I can do to help myself move to a more creative, open place.  And 2 I'll just have to live with.  Maybe I'll know next week, maybe I'll know next year :/

4 comments:

  1. I agree the combination and location of the cards doesn't augur well.

    Her being buried deep suggests to me that you've pushed her to the bottom of your spirit. Piled lots of other things on top. The Death card in your Sidhe pack looks rather more hopeful than not, though, to me. The foreground is taken up by an owl holding a fish, and it certainly looks like a big glowing book behind him. Wisdom and learning. All your studies have taken the forefront in your life for the last few years, haven't they? And then there's the figure that seems to be rising from the tomb back there. Or Houdini-like, she's escaped it and is sitting on top of it.

    Something to think about.

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    1. Hi Carla,

      Thank you for your perspective on these cards, it's very helpful. As I say, I can't see clearly on this myself. I especially like what you said about her being buried suggesting I've pushed her to the bottom of my spirit. When I thought about her being far from my awareness, that didn't feel right as I've been thinking and worrying about this a lot, but your phrase rings true. And I agree, Emily Carding's Death is a particularly positive one, though I'd never thought of the Houdini interpretation ;D

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  2. A very interesting duo, but you're right--it's hard to predict what it could mean when there is so much emotion behind it. I think relaxing and allowing is a great practice when you're feeling nervous or unsure. This is a hard topic and I wish you well!

    XO,
    MM

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    1. Hi Magic Mentha,

      Okay, "relax and allow, relax and allow" - my new mantra ;) Thanks for the good advice, and the well wishes,

      Love and Light,
      Kerry

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