Tuesday, 10 July 2012

A Glimpse of Truth

©Cavendish & Fenech
A while back, I watched a video by Charming Pixie Flora where she talked about how we know that something is right.  She said that, when something is true for us, we know it at a deep level, it echoes through us like a bell.  I guess what she was saying matches the expression: that rings true for me.  She suggested that we try to listen for this inner bell, to trust and honour it.

Yesterday evening, I had that kind of experience in my meditation on this card from the Wild Wisdom of the Faerie Oracle (Blue Angel, 2009).  At one point in my pathworking I said, "I will do everything that I can."  That sentence, though out of context, reverberated through me and I started to cry.

As a mother, it's said that we don't have to be perfect, just "good enough".  Although I "know" that, this was the first time that I really BELIEVED it.  In that moment, I understood that, though I may not do everything that could possibly be done, I do everything that I am physically and emotionally capable of!  It isn't perfect, but it really is all that I can do.

After four and a half years, I was finally able to accept that, and to forgive myself for what I perceive as my failings.  It was such a stark example of how we can understand something at a rational level, but it takes something more for us to truly feel it, for it to echo through us and be accepted rather than just being words we spout.  I feel so blessed for the ability to finally forgive myself, to honour and accept that I really am "good enough".

4 comments:

  1. You were right! This does sound a lot like my post. Forgive me for not commenting on your blog. I've been bad about keeping up with blogs, especially lately. I will definitely have to come by more often!

    This is a neat deck. I've seen a few people use it and now I'm curious about it.

    Big Hugs,
    MM

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    1. Sounds like you've had your hands plenty full, I thank you for taking the time to drop by now. Hope you enjoy your sisters wedding!
      Hugs,
      Kerry

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  2. I now what you mean about the difference between 'knowing' something and really believing it.

    I was reading Jung a while back and wrote down something he said about ethical living meaning being as good as we can be and the importance of being able to live with not matching up to various things we can't be.

    So do please forgive yourself any perceived failings. The very fact that you are aware of them means you're doing what you can. Being as good as you can be.

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    1. Hi Hamadryad,
      I like that about Jung's ethical living, and not always being able to live up to standards (our own or anyone else's). At least he wasn't a hypocrite, just an adulterer ;)

      Thank you, I will try to remember to forgive myself, and be as good as I can.

      Blessings,
      Kerry

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