|©Cavendish & Fenech|
Yesterday evening, I had that kind of experience in my meditation on this card from the Wild Wisdom of the Faerie Oracle (Blue Angel, 2009). At one point in my pathworking I said, "I will do everything that I can." That sentence, though out of context, reverberated through me and I started to cry.
As a mother, it's said that we don't have to be perfect, just "good enough". Although I "know" that, this was the first time that I really BELIEVED it. In that moment, I understood that, though I may not do everything that could possibly be done, I do everything that I am physically and emotionally capable of! It isn't perfect, but it really is all that I can do.
After four and a half years, I was finally able to accept that, and to forgive myself for what I perceive as my failings. It was such a stark example of how we can understand something at a rational level, but it takes something more for us to truly feel it, for it to echo through us and be accepted rather than just being words we spout. I feel so blessed for the ability to finally forgive myself, to honour and accept that I really am "good enough".