|©Lucy Cavendish & Selina Fenech|
In fact, I've been feeling that my DH and I are doing fairly well in the relationship stakes at the moment. Respecting one another's needs, making space for quality time together, being playful and honest, sharing interests and also allowing the other to have their own friends and hobbies.
Still, no relationship is ever perfect, or static. We have to stay aware of what is going on, and make changes as required. So, I decided to design a relationship spread based on this card. I thought of the strength of gossamer, and also its delicate fragility, and noted the butterflies around the Gossamer Princess. Then I asked the Tarot of the Sidhe (Schiffer, 2011):
|Cards ©Emily Carding|
1) What makes our relationship strong? Dancer Five - Where Loss Resides
Our relationship has been strengthened by the loss and heartache we have been through together. This really chimes with me. There are two ways that relationships can go when there's a big problem: they get stronger or they fall apart. We've faced some really tough times, and supported one another through them. Our relationship would not be what it is without the losses we have dealt with together.
2) In what way is our relationship delicate? Dancer Six - Born of Joy
This card really resonates with me, as well. It came up in my reading on eating, and made me think about our son, and our current decision to have fertility treatments to try and have another child. I didn't mention that part of my interpretation at the time, as it is a subject that feels really personal. Still, it's what I see here, so I'm not going to sidestep it any more.
My husband and I have very different feelings about this. Not that he is pro and I am against, it's not that simple. More that he is very certain that it's the right path, whereas I am very uncertain. I have a lot of worries and concerns about how it will affect our son, and myself, as well as being rather scared of all the prodding and poking this kind of medical intervention implies. This has been the major source of disagreement and lack of communication between us in recent months.
3) What needs to change? Warrior King - Gift of Glory
What I see here is that we need to stop feeling like this Warrior King. Neither of us can get on our high horse about this, nor be convinced of our absolute rightness. There is no right or wrong here, no forcing our view on the other. We have to learn to accept each other's perspective and once again support each other, as we did with our previous big heartache. Even when we don't agree, we need to try to see the other's point of view and maintain some emotional closeness, finding a compromise, a way forward that is nurturing to both.
I've been feeling like I'm being pushed into this decision, and maybe I need to take back a bit of my own power. Not that I should force my choice on him, either, but make a claim for a bit of give and take, and the need to at least be heard.
This is something we've been working on, but we clearly still have a way to go...