Saturday, 8 September 2012


To explore the Chariot's influence in my life at this time, I decided to draw a single card to answer: "What will help balance me, allowing me to move forward?"

I drew the Warrior Ten card (equivalent to the Ten of Wands), subtitled "The Great Task".

©Emily Carding - Tarot of the Sidhe

What I see here is that to find my balance I need to focus on a single task - with the obvious question being: what is the most important task in my life at this time?  And there's no doubt there: it's doing my best for the baby in my belly!

I have been told that I have a high risk of miscarriage, which means I'm now taking three different medications on a daily basis, and spent five hours being transfused with immunoglobulin last week - not painful, just boring.  They say I may need to do that another three times over then next few months...  It all feels so medical, so clinical - so little to do with the natural act of giving birth.

I feel the weight of the world on me - if I make the wrong choices, it could kill my baby :(  Instead, I want to find a balance between the medical world and the more natural remedies and methods that are closer to my heart.

It's not just about the injections, the scans, and the tests, though.  I recognise the importance of my mindset, about making this baby a priority, and doing everything I can to be in a good place, physically, mentally and spiritually, for it.

That means accepting that I won't workout as much as I normally would, that I may need to change the kind of exercise that I do.  And that I won't be able to do all the projects I would otherwise do.  I don't think I will go back to my second job, which I had taken time off from over the summer.  It can wait until after the baby is born.  I am determined to meditate more, which has fallen by the wayside the last week with all this medical stress.

In all these ways, I try to balance my normal tendencies with what is best to help bring this baby into the world - from hope to reality.


  1. Hug!

    A very thoughtful post. I am so sorry you have to deal with this, and I applaud you for doing your best to work with the situation you have.

    It's interesting hearing stories of mothers about their pregnancies--it seems like things are never quite as we imagine them, but our love for the babies and their interests are always there!

    I send you happiness and healing in your meditation, and hoping that you get some relief with the setting of priorities.


    1. You're quite right, MM, pregnancy and motherhood is never as easy as we might expect for something so "natural" :( Be it problems breastfeeding, or morning sickness, or illness, it's always complicated. Ah, well, such is life...

      Thanks for the happiness and healing!

  2. Do take care of yourself! I'm wishing for the very best. :-)

  3. May your meditations bring you deeply in touch with your body and the universal mind.

    1. Thank you, Carla. I am certainly giving it a good go - all my meditations this week have been on the baby and on universal energy :)