What aspect of my self do I need to understand better? Dreamer Ten - Desolation
The part of my self that I need to get to grips with is my fears, my sense of desolation, what my DH sometimes calls my "catastrophising". I often come up with worst case scenarios, and fear that they will come to pass.
I know this is a bad habit. Focusing on the negative, devoting energy to it, is a waste of that energy. Instead, I need to look towards what I can do to work towards a positive outcome. I think part of the problem comes when I feel impotent, powerless to make much difference. As many wise teachers have said, we always have the power to decide how to respond to our own emotions - they are not forced on us, we choose to accept them.
What learning can I gain at this time? Dancer Nine - Make a Wish
What this card says to me is that, if I weren't so full of wishes, I would also not be so full of fears - the two are intimately related. If I didn't wish for a child, I wouldn't be afraid that I'll never manage to have one. If I didn't wish for success in my studies, I wouldn't be so nervous at delays and setbacks.
This suggests I need to do more than dream and wish, more than worry. I need to act, to do, to get on with things. Of course, I don't have the power to control everything in the world, or even just in my life. Still, if I figure out what it is I can do, what I need to do, then I can actually do it.
I have some ideas and some plans on that front, so hopefully I will, overtime, make some of my dreams into realities :)