I've been really enjoying the practice of doing a reading for each new moon! So, with the new moon in Gemini, my natal month, I gave it another go. After another chant meditation in which I visualised my son surrounded by a golden light, I drew two cards to look at what I need to release, and what I should embrace during this lunation. The deck used, once again, is the wondrous Tarot of the Sidhe (Schiffer, 2011) by Emily Carding.
What I need to release: The Sun
This card certainly chimes with my last new moon reading, where I was told to embrace Winter's Bite (Maker Five from the Tarot of the Sidhe). When I looked at this card, I started hearing an Alanis Morissette song in my head, Utopia. What I need to let go of is a utopian idea of what happiness should look like.
This makes me think of a CBT technique in which you're supposed to think about what things would be like if you achieved something you are working towards, to picture it in detail. How would you know if you had made it? For me, though, it's that I need to let go of that image, that picture of what my family should be, how I should be, what happiness is. And that's a hard one!
I'm not sure what to do to be able to let go. Should I do a ritual, cast a spell, visualise being happy in a future where my son is still ill, I can never sleep, and I can't go back to work because he's always getting ill and needs me home? Bah!
What I should embrace: Dancer Three - Jubilance.
Well, okay, there's an answer to my questions! What I should do is embrace the small joys in life; the friends around me, the feel of the sun on my face, the pretty colours, the stars and the rain. Once again, it's one of those answers that I already know, but that never seems that easy. Just embrace the present moment, appreciate the joys of the everyday, yadda yadda. How do I actually do that? Do I write a reminder to myself that will pop up on my phone every hour "Be In The Moment", and another on the half hour "Seek Joy!". Well, maybe that isn't such a crazy-a**e idea...
Okay, I decided to draw a line of five on this, and the Mystical Lenormand (Königsfurt-Urania, 2004) cards are: Woman, Paths, Birds, Sun, Fish.
Ha, that's gotta be some kind of irony: the Sun being in my Lenormand line, too! Anyhow, what I see here is a need to talk things through, to try to make some choices (Paths). Perhaps, too, that every step we take in life is a choice: a choice to remain isolated (Woman), or to talk (Birds). And that happiness will be found in the flow of the everyday, in exchanges with others (Sun, Fish). This, together with the Dancer Three card, highlights the importance of being able to communicate with friends. I've been doing a fair bit of that, between this blog and meeting up with two friends in the last two day. I guess I'll just have to make it a priority for the whole of this lunation :)