Following my reading on Saturday, for the last three mornings I have chanted half a mala of Om Mani Padme Hum and a full mala to Yemaya every day. Yesterday, I also decided to do a reading on my DH and I trying to have another child, though I didn't have time to post it then. I drew from the Mystical Lenormand (Königsfurt-Urania, 2004) and got: Anchor, Tower, House.
What I read in this is that I need to make sure I feel in my comfort zone. A couple of pregnancies ago, we went to a fertility clinic, and I really didn't like the ethos, the atmosphere or the people. So, for my last pregnancy, I went to a doctor who is focused on natural childbirth, and who encourages the use of homeopathy, acupuncture and cranio-sacral osteopathy. While neither pregnancy worked out, I felt a lot more supported and a lot happier during the second one. So, this time round I would once again prefer that. He is a professional who works within an institution, but without being purely institutional.
I was talking yesterday with a friend, and something he said encapsulated my thoughts on this. He and his girlfriend of 14 years never used contraception, but also never went to a fertility clinic. They just took a "what will be will be" approach to it. While he says he may regret not having kids when he's old, overall I get the sense he's happy with that choice. In the same way, I don't want to try to force anything, or stress out about this. I hope it'll happen, but I'm not going to put myself through the trials of fertility treatments to do so.
This morning, I asked the cards for a spiritual focus for the day, and got: Dog, Letter, Garden.
The first thing I see in this is the need to contact friends to organise meeting up. I see that as a spiritual message in the sense that I'm feeling in need of some emotional support, and this is a quite direct way of asking for it. I also see this reading pointing to blogging - faithful writing in a public setting. This is a way for me to express myself, to share with others, and to cement my practice. There is something about faithfully writing about meditation practices that does encourage me to stick to them - I have been far more consistent with my daily meditation since I started blogging about what I actually do :)
As with my Healthy Wholeness blog, the knowledge that I intend to write about what I do, and that someone will read it, does act as an incentive for me to behave in the way that I want to be perceived, or to perceive myself - as a meditator with at least a little self-control and self-discipline :D