|The Goddess Oracle|
With my son, everything seemed fine until the labour, and then lots of things went wrong. The doctor who gave us his (dire) prognosis, put the blame on all sorts of things, from me having drunk too much water during labour, to an infection my son caught from me on the way out (not something they'd tested for, despite a barrage of blood samples). Of course, it's also possible that he was already not all that strong, as he was born very small (2.66 kilos - 5.8 pounds). Anyhow, I pulled a card from the Oracle of the Shapeshifters (2013 U.S. Edition, not that you can tell from this card). My question was, "What should I know about facing my fears today?"
The first is to get some perspective, an overview, on these fears. I see in this a suggestion to ask my current gynaecologist about some of these anxieties, and what he would recommend in various circumstances. I've already got a lot more information now than when my son was born, from various doctors and other parents of special needs children. However, getting the opinion of the person I've chosen to help me through this labour seems sensible. I think I haven't asked some of these things as I hadn't really thought about such specifics.
Secondly, the bats make me think about steering a course using different senses. That says to me that, when it comes down to it, the best source of information is myself and my intuition. I am the only one who will be actually giving birth. This is very relevant, as for example with the question of having drunk too much water during labour, both my midwife and my DH kept on telling me to drink. I didn't stop to check in whether I actually wanted to, I just assumed that they knew best. Hopefully, regular meditation will have helped me become more mindful since then...
UPDATE: After a nap, I went back to my altar and practised yoga while silently chanting to Kali. 4 A's, 4 dancing warriors, and some standing and seated poses. Total 23 minutes.