Way of the Horse (New World Library, 2007).
As soon as I'd drawn it I rolled my eyes and thought: "Oh, no!" - a sure fire sign that it's a message that is relevant to me ;) The card's title (I wrote them on the cards, at Eowyn's suggestion), is Vigilance. And you can certainly see that in this horse, with ears pricked and nostrils flared, eyes wide open, trying to pick up as much information as possible.
The idea of vigilance, though, just makes me feel tired. One of my problems sleeping is that I've spent years now startling awake with my son, worried he's in pain, throwing up, or unable to breathe. The adrenaline rush then makes it hard to get back to sleep. More recently, regular respite nights and taking 5-HTP have helped with that.
Then, there's the fact of having to be vigilant when with my son. He has no save reflex, so when running around or even just sitting, there is a level of attention that always needs to be there. Just this morning, before going up to meditate, he'd been sitting on my lap and tried to turn too quickly. I caught him part way down, but not before he'd struck his head a glancing blow on the coffee table. It wasn't a bad knock, but did get my adrenaline flowing again. Not just worrying about his pain in the moment, but also whether it would be enough to trigger painful spasms (which it doesn't seem to have). This constant vigilance in his presence is wearing, and one reason I'm so grateful he goes to school and loves it there.
And so this card reminds me that a degree of vigilance is necessary for survival, but that over vigilance leads to problems. I guess this is a balance I still need to work on...