Monday, 9 December 2013

Kali Sadhana Day 20

It was quite late in the day by the time I got up to my altar space.  Once again, I called a circle including Air, Fire, Water, Earth and the Void that is all and nothing.  I prayed to Kali for help with achieving my affirmations, and practised yoga while silently chanting to her for 28 minutes.  After, I sat and meditated, chanting a full mala of Om Krim Kalikaye Namaha.

My thoughts today went to my affirmations, and how I feel these areas of my life have developed over these last 20 days.

1) I am changing my life for the better - I have chanted, meditated and practised yoga every day, which I think are good things.  However, I'm not sure if I want to carry on with the daily yoga, as it takes time away from other exercise, and I like a mix of exercise.  Still, I've been grateful for the renewed enthusiasm for chanting and meditating, which I do feel improves my life.  I also think that fulfilling the next two affirmations, even to a small degree, changes my life for the better.

2) I am breaking free from destructive habits - My eating has been somewhat better over the course of this sadhana.  Not sure if I have improved any other destructive habits.

3) I am facing my fears - Well, I don't think I've necessarily overcome any fears, but I have at least looked at and challenged some of them.  For instance, I finally got my acrylic paints out.  Not something I'll be doing every day, but it was good to at least make a start.  I looked at some of my fears around having another baby, both in terms of how the labour/delivery will be, and in terms of how it will affect our family life and the child's life.  I have also been thinking about my broom closet mentality.  Haven't made any definite decisions on that one, but at least I've been looking at this fear of being seen for the pagan I am :)

2 comments:

  1. That is the first step: to be fully aware of your fear. and the impact it has on your life
    And that is a brave thing. Just by looking at it, things will brighten up. Don't make to rash decisions about coming out for you can not take it back :)
    sleep well

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    1. I think that's true, Ellen, just by looking at our fears they become less intimidating. As for the broom closet thing, I shall take some time to think about it… :)

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