Dang, it's been a long time since I posted here! Life has been über-crazy, and I've been exhausted. Still, when I saw this spread over on Greylady's Hearth, I thought it the perfect thing to get me back in the tarot vibe. Self-Love is definitely something I could do with focusing on a bit right now. I decided to use the Crystal Visions Tarot (U.S. Games, 2011), which is my go-to deck for relationship readings - I love it's softness, its girly colours, and the fact that it is also beautiful and deep.
1) Relationship to Self - What is your relationship with your Self like? The Star
After a couple of readings last month, it's lovely to see the Star again, and as the card representing my relationship to Self! I am hopeful and generous with my Self, open to the magical and to spirit. It's funny, I wouldn't have expected this card here, but it is wonderful to see. It makes me think that it really is lack of time and other life stresses, rather than lack of ability or desire, that is keeping me from being as loving and generous to my Self as I would like to be.
2) Admirable Qualities - The parts of yourself that are easy to love. The Hierophant
Well, this one set me back! The Hierophant as the parts of me that are easy to love? And yet… It is easy to love myself when I "follow the rules", when I do the things I expect of myself, and that others expect of me. Perhaps, too, going with a more spiritual reading, it is easy for me to love the part of myself that embraces spirituality and the divine, that attempts to live my beliefs :)
3) Disowned Self - Your shadow aspects, that need more love and acceptance. The Hanged Man
Yet another Major: the Hanged Man. I need to love and accept the part of me that is passive, that isn't always "doing". This made me think of a German song from at least a decade ago, that had the line "I want to be a human being, not a human doing." I need to accept the part of me that is able to let go and accept inactivity, accept not being in charge. That's definitely not an easy one for me, but I can see why it's important. Especially now, as I wait for my second child to be born...
4) Release - Judgements and expectations you need to release to be more loving to you. Three of Wands
Well, the 3 of Wands seems to directly link to the last card. I need to release my expectations of myself, that I should be doing and achieving. I need to let go of the idea that I have a path to follow, and that I should have a clear vision, a guiding light, along that path. This melds with the idea of accepting uncertainty, not knowing, and not being in charge.
5) More love - Something loving and nurturing you can do for yourself right now! Justice
What I can do now to be more self-loving is to look with gentle clarity at all that has gone before, accept and embrace it. It's interesting to see this angel with a sword. She is cutting away what is not needed, those judgements and self-criticisms that wound. And she is balancing out what was with what is, all in a gentle and loving way. Self-acceptance and cutting out negative self-judgements seem to be key.
This is a beautiful spread, and though some of its messages surprised me (the Hierophant), and others feel quite challenging (just being), I shall try to heed its advice!