Sunday, 30 March 2014
Not only does Julia Cuccia-Watts describe her as the archetypal mother, but she also has her standing there with one breast on show. For someone who is getting her breasts out every couple of hours to feed a baby, that seems pretty much where I am.
Still, it's not just about where I am, but about where I need to be. I haven't meditated since the day I gave birth, and I'm missing it. And yet, I am also often in the moment, feeling things intensely at both a physical and emotional level. Feeling the suck of a baby at my breast, feeling the love welling in my heart.
Focusing on being a mother, I am storing up goodness for later, creating a lasting relationship with my child. That is the coin that I am squirrelling away in my treasure chest, and it's worth it, even if other things are left by the wayside for the moment...
Saturday, 8 March 2014
However, as per the plan I'd decided on a couple of weeks ago, with the moving men (if not the boxes) gone, on Wednesday night I ate a hotter-than-normal curry and had hot sex with my DH, to encourage the baby on his way. Then, when he started wriggling around a lot, I started panicking about not being ready for him to come.
And so, at three in the morning on Thursday, I sat on the toilet and decided to combine hypnobirthing affirmations with tapping. Did a round each with phrases such as: "my baby is born at the best possible time for a natural, easy and quick birth" and "with each surge I know that soon I will see my baby". Not sure it was more effective than just listening to an mp3 of the affirmations, but I certainly felt a lot calmer by the end of it, and slept a little more.
I am looking forward to the birth of my second son, and to the time of nurturing to come. I just received the Psychic Tarot for the Heart Oracle (Hay House, 2014), and so decided to pick a couple of cards from it to illustrate this post. I like the Moon card, showing a man confronting his shadow, to represent my fears. And I hope that I can move forward Empress-like from now on :)
Sunday, 2 March 2014
|Wheel of the Year Tarot|
We went around the whole house, singing a goodbye song to every room. My son sang his own verse in most rooms, and also told us to turn off the lights in each room as we left. It wasn't a very planned ritual, but it worked for us all, I think :)
It was good to honour this house, where my son has lived for his entire six years. It is also the place where my DH says he has been happiest. I have happy memories of other homes: our first home, when my mum divorced my dad (before that we lived on boats, which I hate); our second home, with a cherry tree outside my bedroom window; my first independent flat in Paris at 18; a flat I lived in at the end of University; the flat I moved into in Madrid when I left my first long-term partner.
My time with my DH has also been wonderful, and most of that has been spent here. When we moved in, we thought we'd be here for decades, and if it weren't for my son's disabilities we would have stayed.
Yesterday, as well as doing a tarot draw on moving house, I also pulled a Lenormand line of five from the Mystical Lenormand (Königsfurt-Urania, 2004).
Saturday, 1 March 2014
I asked about the energies around our house move next week, and drew from the Marseille Cat Tarot (Lo Scarabeo, 2014). The situation calls for good organisation and a firm hand, a la Emperor.
What I shouldn't do is flex my muscles to actually lift anything - one of those times when a card (Strength) seems more literal than metaphorical. No thinking I'm strong enough to manage stuff, or letting my pride get in the way of nurturing myself, which is something that I've heard so often over the last few weeks, yet still struggle with. Of course, it would be possible to interpret this card rather differently, but that's what just jumped out at me :)
Finally, what I should do is prioritise and balance things out, and maybe try to find the joy in doing so. There will be a lot of different things going on, and getting a handle on that is important, and something I can safely do… The quote around the two coins is interesting: it translates to "The deepest rivers flow with the least sound." So, a time to get on with things quietly, but efficiently. This card and quote also makes me think about dedicating even menial tasks to spirit, creating a balance between the practical and the spiritual.