Sunday, 30 March 2014

Motherhood

Today, I decided to draw a card from my Maat Tarot app, as my decks are mostly still in bags, waiting to be unpacked.  The card that came up was perfect: the Queen of Coins.

Not only does Julia Cuccia-Watts describe her as the archetypal mother, but she also has her standing there with one breast on show.  For someone who is getting her breasts out every couple of hours to feed a baby, that seems pretty much where I am.

Still, it's not just about where I am, but about where I need to be.  I haven't meditated since the day I gave birth, and I'm missing it.  And yet, I am also often in the moment, feeling things intensely at both a physical and emotional level.  Feeling the suck of a baby at my breast, feeling the love welling in my heart.

Focusing on being a mother, I am storing up goodness for later, creating a lasting relationship with my child.  That is the coin that I am squirrelling away in my treasure chest, and it's worth it, even if other things are left by the wayside for the moment...

Saturday, 8 March 2014

Panicked Tapping, Calm Tapping

Moon card
We humans are strange, contrary creatures, or is it just me?  Finally moved house, and though it's been hectic and hard work, overall I'm feeling quite peaceful and calm about it. 

However, as per the plan I'd decided on a couple of weeks ago, with the moving men (if not the boxes) gone, on Wednesday night I ate a hotter-than-normal curry and had hot sex with my DH, to encourage the baby on his way.  Then, when he started wriggling around a lot, I started panicking about not being ready for him to come.

And so, at three in the morning on Thursday, I sat on the toilet and decided to combine hypnobirthing affirmations with tapping.  Did a round each with phrases such as: "my baby is born at the best possible time for a natural, easy and quick birth" and "with each surge I know that soon I will see my baby".  Not sure it was more effective than just listening to an mp3 of the affirmations, but I certainly felt a lot calmer by the end of it, and slept a little more.

The Empress
Since then, I've done this tapping every night when I wake and go to the toilet.  Last night, we made love again, and I had some full-blown contractions.  Although today would not be a good day for the baby to come, I felt excited rather than anxious.  So, it's definitely been a worthwhile practice :D

I am looking forward to the birth of my second son, and to the time of nurturing to come.  I just received the Psychic Tarot for the Heart Oracle (Hay House, 2014), and so decided to pick a couple of cards from it to illustrate this post.  I like the Moon card, showing a man confronting his shadow, to represent my fears.  And I hope that I can move forward Empress-like from now on :)

Sunday, 2 March 2014

Ritual Goodbyes

Wheel of the Year Tarot
It's strange, we started packing over a week ago, and we still have three days of moving ahead of us, yet this evening feels quite definitive: the power of ritual!

We went around the whole house, singing a goodbye song to every room.  My son sang his own verse in most rooms, and also told us to turn off the lights in each room as we left.  It wasn't a very planned ritual, but it worked for us all, I think :)

It was good to honour this house, where my son has lived for his entire six years.  It is also the place where my DH says he has been happiest.  I have happy memories of other homes: our first home, when my mum divorced my dad (before that we lived on boats, which I hate); our second home, with a cherry tree outside my bedroom window; my first independent flat in Paris at 18; a flat I lived in at the end of University; the flat I moved into in Madrid when I left my first long-term partner.

My time with my DH has also been wonderful, and most of that has been spent here.  When we moved in, we thought we'd be here for decades, and if it weren't for my son's disabilities we would have stayed.

Goodbye, home...

Lennie Reading on Moving House

Yesterday, as well as doing a tarot draw on moving house, I also pulled a Lenormand line of five from the Mystical Lenormand (Königsfurt-Urania, 2004).


Ship, Clouds, Tower, Mountain, Rider:  An uncertain journey made with an institution sees delays caused by poor information flow.  

What I see here is that there is a lot of potential for confusion and delays in this house move.  This could mainly come from information blockages and lack of clarity.  I see in this both the fact that I have to be clear about what goes where and what our priorities are, and also the fact that the company that's been working on the renovations before we moved in still haven't quite finished.  

For example, we had to replace the carpets in a couple of rooms, and when they brought them to fit on Friday, they were faulty (from the manufacturer).  So, now they say they've checked the carpets at the warehouse, and should be able to fit them on Monday.  However, it does mean that the furniture for those rooms can't be moved until later in the week.  Lots of different people and things to juggle, and lots of potential for mistakes and delays.  
Overall, then, this reminds me to stay on top of things, try and see all the details, be as clear as possible in my communications especially between these two companies (the movers and the builders), and accept that there will probably be delays.  Still, I am encouraged by the Ship and Rider framing the reading - there is plenty of movement there, with the blocks in the middle.  I think they will be surmountable :)

Saturday, 1 March 2014

Yadda Yadda Miaow

A friend came over and stayed last night, so this morning we did some readings.  I've done very few readings for myself of late, feeling I have no time.  It was really nice to return to the cards, and the reading made me laugh, partly because the deck is a fun one, partly because it seemed so appropriate.


I asked about the energies around our house move next week, and drew from the Marseille Cat Tarot (Lo Scarabeo, 2014).  The situation calls for good organisation and a firm hand, a la Emperor.

What I shouldn't do is flex my muscles to actually lift anything - one of those times when a card (Strength) seems more literal than metaphorical.  No thinking I'm strong enough to manage stuff, or letting my pride get in the way of nurturing myself, which is something that I've heard so often over the last few weeks, yet still struggle with.  Of course, it would be possible to interpret this card rather differently, but that's what just jumped out at me :)

Finally, what I should do is prioritise and balance things out, and maybe try to find the joy in doing so.  There will be a lot of different things going on, and getting a handle on that is important, and something I can safely do…  The quote around the two coins is interesting: it translates to "The deepest rivers flow with the least sound."  So, a time to get on with things quietly, but efficiently.  This card and quote also makes me think about dedicating even menial tasks to spirit, creating a balance between the practical and the spiritual.